Little Luigi
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Seeing is believing.


Little Luigi sat on his Beegee, eating his Christmas pie.

Nabbit arrived and stole said pie, using hooks and wires to secure the package to his stealthful hand.

"What a stealing soul!" cried Luigi as he examined his loss.

"Ha!" laughed Nabbit as he ran off to Canada with two big snowshoes attached to his feet like Ricky.

"Who is this 'Ricky'?" asked Toad, approaching via hangnail.

"Ricky is Vicky the babysitter's hubby," said Luigi. He downed a glass of OJ and turned to Bob. "Hey Bob!" said the green and nosey wonder.

"Ah, yes, Luigi?" said Bob expectantly. Bob was a mushroom and was really good at yelling at Geodudes to shut the darn up.

"Heh," snickered Toad as he loaded.

Luigi gasped at the size of the cannon. "Toad, do not fire!"

But it was too late. Toad fired and the moon was bisected like Wilhelm.

Wilhelm showed up next and crunched his teeth like an umpire with saucy abdominals.

Said the little Weegee to the Wilhel guy: "Do you see what I see?"

Wilhelm screeched and transformed into a tree. It was oak and birch rolled into one. Toad complimented its solid foliage prowess.

"Good friendliness, Toad," Luigi said with a thumb-up. The thumb traveled as it seemed to have a mind of its own. It went into the vat of despair and pulled out a plum.

"How?" asked Yoshi as he surveyed the lands for certain chaos.

Luigi took his shoe and handed to the dinosaur as an offering of meaty bison wraps. Yoshi swallowed the shoe and thought about Qualot Berries.

"Batman was here. I just know it…" murmured Toad into his transceiver. He had received it from Alfred the Butler himself.

"Why, can you see his own toe?" asked Luigi with pondering shoe-lacking.

Toad took of some chalk and drew an important line. It was the bottom line. He had such a smart attitude about this trial. Batman was for sure coming.

"I'm Batman!" shouted Not Bruce Wayne on arrival. He showed everyone his cape as proof.

"Dude!" said Yoshi in fear of unconventional wisdom. "We gotta get SpongeBob back!"

Larry Koopa arrived and made an observation to all. He lifted a dumbbell and showed everyone his hot lobstery muscles. Larry was a turtle though, so he had not a single one. The dumbbell fell upon Larry, crushing eleven of his nine bones.

"Poor Larry," said Bob the mushroom. He reminisced about his glorious days doing vegetable requests for good people.

Larry was brought to the ER where Batman performed surgery with a needle and spool.

"I need a stinking defibrillator!" roared Batman as he cut the gruesome image.

Shadow was seeing that image all too well. He blamed Luigi for Maria's death and shot him with a potato.

Luigi's whole nose leaked its mucoid powers. The green slime entangled Shadow and squeezed hard. Shadow was reduced to oblivion and Toad and Yoshi ate of the remains.

Shadow watched his own death unfold from around the corner. He cried for the first time that day because he thought he was a very hot individual.

And Shadow was right. Because Shadow is a total hunk. Gerald Ford said so.

"Konichiwa," said Howard Stark as he came to the door and opened it with pliers. He handed the instrument to Luigi and Luigi shook the hand of the wise dude.

"We can see hardship in Larry's life," said Batman to his rival of money and comic studio.

Howard cocked his eyebrow and thought about his two sons Steve and that other kid. He put on rubber gloves and stuck a hand in the shark tank. He extracted a Mako.

Toad and Yoshi ate of the Mako and got more O's. Toad became Tooad, but Yoshi became Yoooo.

Luigi took a sock and placed it on Howard's foot to keep him warm during the surgery. Howard thanked Luigi dearly by sacrificing his life to save him from a missile.

Luigi wept as he saw the death of Howard come so soon. He went to bed and took a nap between two seaweed sea buns.

"What's up, good-lookin'?" Tooad asked Luigi.

Luigi turned over and patted Tooad on his amazing head. "We are all good-looking!" he assured his comrades.

Yoooo overheard this from Tahiti and called Birdo. Birdo answered the phone, but died in the process. This is because Birdo had a deathly fear of phones and that meant total death and destruction from here on.

Shadow and Batman held hands and thought about Larry's future curriculum.

"What is he goin' to uni for?" asked Batman to Shadow's gorgeous eyeballs.

Shadow belched and held up his seltzer for all the world to see. "Chaos Control!" he yelled as he teleported to Mario's house.

"Where are you?" asked Shadow to the door.

"I'm here…" Mario said with the stars in his ears from last week's practice session.

"What do you say, chap?" asked Shadow with an outstretched tongue.

Mario smiled kindly and took of the tongue. He soared to the heights of Pisa. There he consumed a pizza.

"I ate," said Mario. He looked into the clouds and saw Jeremy.

"Hi Mario," said Jeremy.

"Hi, Jeremy," said Mario.

**FIN**


End file.
